I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
