So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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