who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
