I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
