I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
