I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
