worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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