I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize