just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
