i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize