Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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