I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So squirting runs in the family.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
