Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
