You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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