Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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