I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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