I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
