It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
