It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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