Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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