I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
