So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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