That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
