Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
