Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
