Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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