It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
