I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Fuck appropriateness.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
