my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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