Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
