The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
