we have officially lost it.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
