Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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