HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
