AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
