Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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