yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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