Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
