I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
