Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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