But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
