Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
