There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
