Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I supernannyed him into submission
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
