so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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