Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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