Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
