508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
