I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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