she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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