Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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