im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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