you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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