so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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