i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he was CRYING into my vagina
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
