how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
