we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize