weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
