dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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