"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
