Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
