the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
