Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just want nice things and good sex
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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