"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
