We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
