the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
