it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
