I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
