Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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