Sponge bath it is.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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