I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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