just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
