porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
