He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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